Jun 21, 2009
Apr 15, 2009
Mar 27, 2009
as a low-cost 'green' construction material, but I see that this is part 2 of a blog entry about your brain, so later.
If you heard someone say 'I think I'll go kill off some brain cells",
you'd assume they had serious drinking on their mind (or what's left
of it). But if someone said "I think I'll go grow some new brain
cells", it might occur to you that perhaps the poor wretch had
forgotten to take his daily dose of lithium. After all, we all know
that brain cells die off as we age and are not replaceable, which
inevitably leads to the dimming of the intellect, then forgetfulness,
and then a slow, inexorable descent into hopelessness, alienation,
anomie, and finally down, down, down into the black, bottomless abyss of dementia and 'Depends'.
Whoa! I'll be back in a moment. I need a drink.
[sound effects: clinking glass; pouring sound - short (must be the
hard stuff); another pour; faint vocal "ahhhh...."]
OK. Feeling better! Now here's the good news. Whatever you may have heard about the irreplaceability of brain cells has been proven wrong. Put down that shot glass and listen! I said WRONG! New brain cells can be grown--and I'm talking about in your brain, not in a petrie dish. Which means that we may, in fact, be able to forestall or even avoid entirely the ignominious transformation from dynamic and inspired to desiccated and incontinent.
But this transformation is not forestalled by mere injection of
industrial-strengh concentrations of Gingko leaf, nor by gobbling
the memory pills peddled with extravagant hyperbole on late-night
television. No, kind reader, the challenge requires some effort: No
Pain, No Brain! For the whys and wherefores, you must return to these same talabesian coordinates to read 'Yo! How's your brain! (part 3)
P.S. Don't miss the next mind-restoring episode! Subscribe! (right-
Feb 16, 2009
said he could have a lawyers brain for $500, a doctors brain for $1000
or a politician's brain for $50,000. The man asked why the brain of a
politician would cost so much. The doctor replied, "Do you know how many of them we have to kill to find a good one?"
Since you have navigated your way to this particularly obscure set of
coordinates, I will assume that your brain is--in fact--a good one.
But how can you be sure it will stay that way? Given the ravages of
age, social unrest, economic instability, and a diet heavily dependent
on HoHos and Ramen Noodles, is it even possible to preserve mental
clarity into the golden years? Ask yourself this the next time find
yourself pawing around in the 'junk drawer' and suddenly you realize
you don't know what it was you were looking for.
OK, I admit that was a scare tactic. It happens to everybody.
Now, what was I talking about?
Oh yes, Ramen Noodles. Don't hesitate to experiment! Try adding real
food. Parsley flakes, for instance.
Feb 4, 2009
Feb 1, 2009
Jan 29, 2009
Fortune in a fortune cookie anymore. Instead, upon extracting the
little slip of paper, I am confronted with a platitude or self-help
suggestion--or an occasional bad joke. (example: "Klazy cookie
fortunes have you going around in circles.") And somewhere along the
way, there was the great idea to add lottery numbers to the back side
of the paper. Double your pleasure!
For a short while, some friends and I attempted to fill the fortune
void with amusing 'self-fulfilling fortunes': "You will soon be
settling a small debt." "You will soon be running to the bathroom." Or
the ever-popular "You will be hungry again in half an hour."
I had all but given up on even reading the things, when one day--lo
and behold, I cracked open the stale sugar-and-eggwhite shell and
found "You will become wealthier and wealthier."
Please send money.